Is honesty the best policy?

I've often wondered if honesty is the best policy. For example, if a wife asks her husband if she looks fat in a new pair of pants should he tell her yes if she does, or simply tell a little white lie in order to save her feelings? If you know that telling someone the truth will hurt them deeply do you tell them, or just keep it to yourself? I guess it's one of those situational things where sometimes it's OK and other times it's not. I realized today that I even lie to myself sometimes and it's good when other people give me a shot of reality. Well, I got a big old painful shot of reality today from someone that is very close to me. But, I think it's going to be good for me in the long run.

A while back a friend at work gave me this book to read called, "It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken" by Greg Behrendt. He's also the author of, "He's Just Not That Into You." When I read the breakup book, it was very straightforward and almost a little painful to read. So, I read it with a chip on my shoulder thinking that what he was saying didn't apply to me and my situation. However, after my shot of reality that I got today, I feel that his book applies to me in every single way. I was just lying to myself at the time and not dealing with reality. This book really is incredible for anyone who's just been through a breakup (warning: there are some bad words). It's a big old shot of reality right where you need it. I think I'm going to go back and re-read it now that I don't have that chip on my shoulder and now that I'm ready to hear what the book has to say. I've realized that it all boils down to how you want to deal with the pain. You can either get hurt a lot at the beginning and have it over quickly or have it hurt a little over a long period of time. Having felt pain in both ways, I'd rather have a big dose of hurt at the beginning and then have it over quickly than to drag it out. I've been dragging out the pain for the past few months, but no more! I'm done with the pain and am ready to start healing.


Back in September, my best friend's brother, Jeremy, who's like the older brother I never had, put a post on his blog about, "things that I either have never had the opportunity to say, or never will." I read through all of them thinking what a neat post that was. Then I got to the last one and knew that it was written for me. It really touched my heart that he would say this about me:

I consider you to be a part of my family. Let the past go (even though I know that will be hard to do with a constant, yet beautiful reminder of that past) and move on. Don't linger. Please protect yourself. Sometimes, being genuinely good can work to your disadvantage because it allows those who have hurt you access to your heart to hurt you yet again. I wish you better than that. You deserve it. You are a beautiful soul. I love you and cannot wait to see you again.

When I read that for the first time, I was still lying to myself. But today when I re-read it, I know there is truth and honesty there, and for me, that's the best policy even though it hurts.