Go Girl ~ March

I LOVE the quote from my Go Girl calendar for the month of March.

This is my life.
It is my one time to be me.
I want to experience every good thing.

~Maya Angelou
(American Writer & Human Rights Activist)

So my word for 2009 is change, and I can’t even believe that it is already March!!! Where did January and February go? I was looking back over the first 2 months of the year and doing a self evaluation to see what changes I have made (for good or bad).

• I have changed some of my eating habits and how often I exercise. I have really enjoyed working out and I feel so much better. I’ve only lost about 14 lbs so far, but I can tell a big difference just w/ that much. I am excited to keep up this change in my physical activity and to continue feeling healthier.
• A lot has changed in my social life. Some of it has been really great and some of it has been really hard. I’ve shed a lot of tears in the past few weeks, but I feel like I’m a stronger person. It's crazy to see how fast feelings can change in just a few weeks or even in just one day. I was really worried that dating again would be awkward or weird since the last person I dated was Jason and it’s been almost 2 years ago since I left. But, I have realized that there are some great guys out there and that dating can be fun and exciting. It’s nice to do fun things for others and to feel special in return. I hope that my social life can continue to change and progress.
• My spiritual life has changed for the better. I was able to go to the temple in February and hope to make it a permanent change to go to the temple at least once a month. I’m also going to try and read my patriarchal blessing at least once a month (or more if I need to). I’ve also started to read the lessons in the Joseph Smith manual that they use in Relief Society and Priesthood. Since I teach Primary, I don’t get to hear those lessons, so I’m reading them on Sunday after church instead. Just last week I read the one where they had letters from Joseph to Emma. WOW! Those were so tender and touching and spiritually uplifting.
• I wish that I could say that my emotions have changed for the better, but they’ve been on a rollercoaster. Some days I’ve been down right giddy and blissfully happy and then other days I’ve been feeling down in the dumps, and then everywhere else in between. And the poor people at work have seen me go from one extreme emotion to the other in the space of less an hour. I really need to work on having better control over my emotions. But, I’ve come to realize that I am just a very open and expressive person and I don’t “approve of hiding my emotions” (quote from Sense & Sensibility). For any of you that have seen Sense & Sensibility, I am VERY MUCH a Mary Anne and not at all like her sister Eleanor.
• My relationship w/ Autumn has changed for the better. She went from being one to now being in the official terrible two stage. There are still days when she tries my patience and I get frustrated, but I’ve noticed that since I’ve started singing to her before she goes to bed at night that she sleeps better through the night and I can see love for me just sparkling in her eyes. She really is the light and love of my life and I can’t even imagine how my life would be without her. I look at mother’s at church w/ 3 or 4 or 5 kids and I have a whole new appreciation for them. Being a mom is the hardest and yet most rewarding job in the world. I hope to continue to change myself to be a better Mom for Autumn.

Anyways, I think overall the changes I’ve made in the first 2 months of 2009 have been positive changes. I hope to keep evolving as a person to be the best version of myself that I can be. I have learned that I need to quit looking at others and seeing all their strengths and then comparing that to all of my weaknesses, b/c I will always come up short if I do that. I just need to measure my progress against what I am capable of, and not against anyone else’s. There are plenty of areas for me to improve on in my life and to make positive changes.

That’s why I was so excited by the Go Girl quote for March. I need to take ownership of the fact that this really is MY life!! I am the only one that can decide my level of happiness. I am the only one that can decide what I will become and what I will be. I DO want to experience every good thing. I also love how the picture is of a girl running somewhere. It implies action and motion and moving towards something great and wonderful. I want to be actively engaged and moving forward towards a bright and glorious future. I also love how there is a burst of green color coming from her footstep. I hope that I leave a trail of happiness and cheer and excitement and fun wherever I go. My Mom has this innate ability to attract people to her. I want to be like that where people want to be around me and that they feel loved and cared about when they are with me. Here’s to all the fabulous changes that the month of March can bring…