You might be a Mormon if...

• If all your dishes have your name written on them with maskingtape
• If you postdate your checks while shopping onSunday
• If you believe Heck is the place for people who do not believe in Gosh
• If your Mom was pregnant at your sister's weddingreception
• If you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body"before eating doughnuts
• If you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups
• If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house
• If you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two missionaries on the same day
• If you were frustrated when your son "only" got accepted toHarvard
• If you have one kid in diapers and one on a mission
• If you have never arrived at a meeting on time
• If you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries
• If you've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory"
• If you think it is all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing
• If you have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining
• If you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your OwnBurgers
• If you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi
• If you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there