Why I Left

*** Click HERE to see the first half of this story.  After talking to Mom back on 6/16/07 I decided to let Jason Wynn Kemble come home and see if we could work through things and give us a chance. On Sunday Mom & I cleaned the house, made a nice crock pot meal for him to come home to, and then I went and dropped her off at the airport and waited 30 min and then picked him up. The ride home was so uncomfortable and quiet. He did say that he would talk about it when he was ready and not to ask any questions until he was ready. He also told me that I was not to bring it up unless I was going to let it go, move past it, and look for ways to make things better going forward. I was speechless and just drove.

Anyways, I decided to forgive him, work it out, have him talk to the Bishop, talk to a counselor, and we were going to make it through this. During those 2 weeks I stayed, I turned into quite the little detective. While he was gone to his internship during the mornings I would get up and get onto the computer. I found out something new that he had lied to me about EVERY.SINGLE.DAY of those 2 weeks! He had a few email accounts I didn't know about (blackmammoth2002) and a myspace page where he went by the name of Shane. I typed up a little thing that I just copied and pasted into all the contacts he had letting them know he was married w/ 4 kids and to please not contact him anymore. So many of those girls wrote me back and said they were so sorry and had no idea he was married and they even sent me entire conversations he had had with them. Some of them were very pornographic (like the one he had had w/ a girl just a week before we got married...why was I so dumb and ignored the red flags). One girl named Kim told me that he met up w/ her at the end of May (a few days before our anniversary) and they got in her car and drove to a church parking lot where they did some very inappropriate things! This girl was also sleeping w/ his brother Steven!!! That is just the tip of the iceberg of the things I found out about Jason Wynn Kemble.

One night, I came home from work and wanted to ask him about some things and get some answers. I never yelled at him or raised my voice. But, he didn't want to talk about it b/c it made him feel guilty, so he got really mad at me and said (and I quote), "if you don't go in the other room right now, I am going to come over there and kick your ass!" He had never threatened me before, and everything in me wanted to yell at him to come over to where I was standing and just try it. But, I was holding Autumn in my arms and the Spirit told me to just walk away.

I went and put her in her bed. I went in the bedroom and shut the door and started folding laundry. I got my cell phone and called Mindi (his first ex-wife). She didn't answer, and I called back about 8 times in a row. Jason came in the room and asked who I was calling and I lied and said my Mom and he told me to hang up and not tell her anything. I went and got the laundry out of the washer and took it over to the dryer. I took my cell phone w/ me and Mindi finally called me back. I asked her if he had ever hurt her physically and she said yeah, he used to hit her all the time. Then I asked if he had ever cheated on her and she just laughed and said she had been expecting this call a few months after we got married and she was surprised it had taken this long. She said that he had cheated on her at least 3 times that she knew of and that is why they finally got divorced. I was kind of mad at her for not telling me about it before I married him and asked her why she hadn't warned me. She said that Jason had told her that he told me everything and that I wasn't upset and still wanted to marry him. WHAT!?!?! He had lied to her and to me.

Anyways, things just got worse and worse for those 2 weeks. I was depressed, I was walking on egg shells, and my life was just horrible. The final straw was today at work. Stephanie C. (one of my friends from high school) wrote me on IM while I was at work and said that she didn't know how to tell me this, but that back at the end of January, Jason had contacted her on IM and kind of said some inappropriate things. I told her thank you for telling me and then I asked Jason about it on IM. He got really mad at me and said how dare I believe her over him (I never said I believed her, I was just asking him about what happened) and that she was a liar and basically he just went off on me. I started crying and just then Lawson and Kim came in and asked what was wrong (they knew what had gone on in the past 2 weeks).

I knew right then and there in that moment that he was never going to change and that if I stayed w/ him, then the rest of my life would be like those 2 weeks. I would never be able to trust him, I would always have to wonder what he was doing, I would make myself sick worrying about him cheating again, etc. I left work early and went right over to Mt. America and closed our banking account. I drove home and called the U of U police to come over and just wait outside in case Jason got violent.

I walked in and told him I was leaving him. He just sat on the couch and watched TV. I packed up a bag of things for Autumn and I. I went outside and let the police know he wasn't being violent and they could go. I made about 5 trips out to the car and he just laid there on the couch not moving a muscle. I finished loading the car, grabbed Autumn, stood in the doorway and said, "I really did love you." He just stared at the TV, and I walked out the door.

I drove down to Rufio's and just cried the whole entire way.

***I am writing this on 12/15/2008 just so I have it for my records since my blog is my journal.