How do you mend a broken heart? Isn't there a song about that? Anyways, I wanted to start posting again and let everyone who reads my blog know that I'm back! I can't believe it's been 2 1/2 weeks since I went home on Friday afternoon, packed up my stuff, went to stay at my Grandma's and leave my husband. 
So much has happened in that short amount of time, but at the same time it feels as if I've lived 10 lifetimes. Some main things that have happened are I filed for divorce, packed up my stuff in the apartment, had movers come, drove back to Texas, and now I'm looking for a job. I have had so much help along the way.
I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I am fine and keep myself busy. Other days I feel sad and just need to cry a lot. Other days I am so hurt and wounded. Other days I am angry and want to get even. Actually, I feel all those things in just one day sometimes. I want to stay positive and move forward and be happy. I've heard people say it's a lot like having a death in the family, but harder. If someone dies, you know they are gone and there is closure. With a divorce, I find myself wondering what Jason is doing, who he's with, if he's doing OK. I definitely want to stay friends with him for Autumn's sake. It's interesting that in Utah they have you take a class on the effects of divorce on children. They talked about never saying anything negative about the other parent to the child. And that even though you aren't a couple anymore, you will always be co-parents to your children.
So much has happened in that short amount of time, but at the same time it feels as if I've lived 10 lifetimes. Some main things that have happened are I filed for divorce, packed up my stuff in the apartment, had movers come, drove back to Texas, and now I'm looking for a job. I have had so much help along the way.I've noticed that Sundays are the hardest on me. It's hard to be at church, see happy families, etc. and realize that I'm not going to have that. I guess I feel like I've made a huge leap of faith into the darkness and now I just have to turn my life over to Heavenly Father to help me find the rest of the way.
I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I am fine and keep myself busy. Other days I feel sad and just need to cry a lot. Other days I am so hurt and wounded. Other days I am angry and want to get even. Actually, I feel all those things in just one day sometimes. I want to stay positive and move forward and be happy. I've heard people say it's a lot like having a death in the family, but harder. If someone dies, you know they are gone and there is closure. With a divorce, I find myself wondering what Jason is doing, who he's with, if he's doing OK. I definitely want to stay friends with him for Autumn's sake. It's interesting that in Utah they have you take a class on the effects of divorce on children. They talked about never saying anything negative about the other parent to the child. And that even though you aren't a couple anymore, you will always be co-parents to your children. Anyways, I'm going to try and start having a sense of normalcy again. I'll try to post normal, everyday things. It's just going to take some time to adjust to this new way of life. Again, I can't thank all those who have helped me enough. I just need to accept what is, move forward, and take it one day at a time. I'm just thankful I have my sweet precious Autumn to keep me strong and happy.
Posts
4 comments:
"It's hard to be at church, see happy families, etc. and realize that I'm not going to have that."
Lisa, you will have that...and you DO have that. Just not in the same way. You have a family that will stand by you no matter what. You have a beautiful daughter that can show you love in ways you never knew or expected. You have friends that love you and pray for you as if you were family. And one day, I have NO doubt, you will have the family composition of Father, Mother, and Child that you seek.
I have NO doubt.
Lisa,
I think you made the right decision. Some days are going to tougher than other but stay strong. You have people out here that believe in you.
To tell you the truth, many people wouldn't have been as strong as you and would not have made the same actions.
You go girl!
~Penny
Lisa,
Your are the greatest and you are so strong, a lot stronger than I could ever be. Your a great mom and a great friend!! Keep your head up! I seen this quote the other day and thought of you,
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Albert Einstein
Essa Wee I sure do love you & miss you! Call day or night if you need to just talk. You are amazing & don't you forget that! You are also the best sister I could ever have wanted. All these people feel like you sister BUT I am so lucky I really am your sister. I count you as one of my blessings!
LOVE YA!!!!
Post a Comment