Families

What is the definition of a family? Today at church we sang the song, "Families Are Forever," and I just sat and cried through the whole thing. I was crying b/c I was happy and I was crying b/c I am sad. Are you allowed to cry happy & sad tears at the same time? LOL!

I was crying sad tears thinking of how my definition of family 3 months ago would have been Jason, Autumn, and I (like in this picture). But that all changed and I was crying over the loss of what could have been of my family with Jason.

Then I cried sad tears thinking of how much I miss Bubzy, Justy, and Jewlsey. I considered them part of my family, and my mom and dad considered them as their very own grandchildren. But now I won't get to see them very often. I know that Mindi and I will stay in touch so that Autumn can know her 3 half siblings. It broke my heart to think that b/c of some really bad decisions that someone made, that 2 happy families have been so horribly effected. I miss those kids, but they will always be a part of my family.

Then I cried tears of joy thinking about my family I grew up in and all my extended family. There is no way I would have made it through the past 3 months without them. I am so thankful for my mom and dad who have let me come stay with them. For my dad providing such a nice home for us to live in, food to eat, smoothies to enjoy, and for loving on Autumn. For my mom watching Autumn all day for me so that I can go to work. For my sister Lexie coming to visit with her little boy so Autumn and Andrew could get to know each other. For Nick, my brother, playing with Autumn and making funny voices when she's fussy. For Nate, my other brother, serving a mission in California. For Grandma Ruth calling to check up on us and see how we're doing and to share advice and her love. For Grandma and Grandpa Johnson's love. For all the aunts, uncles, and cousins who have supported me and helped me. I can't even begin to mention everyone and all the ways they've changed my life.

It just makes me realize how truly blessed I am to have such amazing family support. There are a lot of people in the world who come from dysfunctional families. Now that's not to say that mine isn't, b/c we for sure have our own issues and such. But one thing I can say is that I have always had the love and support of my family & I wouldn't be who and what I am today without them.

I don't have a definition of family anymore. I think it changes all the time. But in general, I think a family is people who love and support you, and you them in return.

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!