Empowered

Last night after some thinking and worrying and wondering, I decided to take matters into my own hands and be bold and just express what I’m thinking about my relationship w/ M. I sent him a text and said if he only wants to be friends, I’m not OK with that b/c I want more and if that’s how he feels then it’s probably better that we not hang out next weekend. It was a relief when he wrote back that that’s how he felt and thank you for being so understanding of where he’s coming from. He still cares a lot for Autumn & I and will always be my friend. That was SO EMPOWERING to be bold and now I know where he stands instead of wondering. For half a second after realizing I no longer have a date to the baseball game next week, I thought about texting him and seeing if he still wanted to go to the game as just friends. But, then I remembered this quote in the book and realized it’s best if I just cut all ties:

“Every two weeks, once a month, seeing someone, having a little love and affection may help you get through the day or the week or the month – but will it help you get through a lifetime?”

I deserve someone that wants to be with me all the time. And if I’m spending my time with someone that doesn’t want to be with me, then I’m missing out on opportunities to find the right one. So even though it sucks to be alone, it’s better than being with the wrong person for me. I also realized that it’s not a good idea to try and date ex-boyfriends. It’s interesting that 3 guys I dated all came back into my life at the same time and that none of them worked out. Lesson learned: past relationships should stay there…in the past!

Instead of feeling sad, I feel powerful and tenacious and ready for whatever my dating life will bring in the future. I have a feeling that I just need to be a little more patient and that there is someone incredible just around the corner that will be coming into my life soon. I am so excited!