Dichotomy Of Tough Yet Tender

This morning was super tough yet super tender at the same time.  Autumn was a complete grouchy girl this morning, and I don’t know why b/c she fell asleep at 9:00 and woke up at 7:00 so she got plenty of sleep.  She wouldn’t wake up, was whiny, didn’t want to get dressed, etc.  Once I finally got her dressed it was time to walk out the door, but I hadn’t done her hair yet.  I got her into the bathroom to fix her hair and she yanked away from me and yelled that she didn’t want me to do her hair.  I was surprisingly calm and cool and collected.  I didn’t yell or force her to let me do her hair.  I just put my hands up and said, “OK, if that’s your choice then that’s your choice.”  I walked away and gathered up my things so we could go b/c we were late leaving by now. 

She had a complete and utter meltdown including jumping up and down, and yelled that she wanted me to do her hair now.  I just calmly told her we didn’t have time and that we had to go.  By this time she was sobbing uncontrollably, but I felt that I had to stand my ground.  I wanted her to know that she can’t act like that and get away with it.  So, I took her to school and on the way talked to her about what had happened and why.  When I dropped her off at her classroom I told her I loved her, but she wouldn’t give me a hug and went right over to her teacher and started crying.

It broke my heart.  It’s such a fine line to walk between being tough yet tender at the same time.  I want her to know that she can’t walk all over me, but at the same time I want her to know I love her.  Sometimes I have to use tough love so she can learn.  I know she’s just trying to exercise her independence and I’m glad I didn’t lose my cool w/ her.  Hopefully she learned something from this experience, b/c I definitely did.

When I went to Market Street for lunch, I called the daycare to check on her b/c I felt horrible that we had had such a bad morning.  They said she was doing great.  The whole experience was a good reminder that even though it’s hard (on both Autumn & I) to follow through on consequences for bad behavior, it’s necessary.

Mom called at 4:00 and said she and Dad were going to go get Autumn from school so they could go to Home Depot and get some bricks and go get a treat.  So, after work I just met them at their house.  Mom had made a big pot of beef stew and it hit the spot b/c it was so cold and windy today.  The high today was only 45 degrees which is 20 degrees cooler than yesterday.  Anyways, after dinner we watched the recorded episode of Modern Family from last night.  I laughed so hard when Cam told Mitchell, “I’m going to teach you a biology lesson.  We can’t make a baby.”  After that we watched Last Man Standing.

Then Mom & I made scrapple b/c Mom had bought sausage to make it around New Year’s but we just never did, and the sausage needed to be used.  Autumn needed to work on her sight words for a spelling test tomorrow.  Autumn does NOT do homework well with me.  She acts silly and guesses about things instead of really looking at her words.  So, I had Nick sit and work with her on her sight words.  He did a great job helping her, and I’m thankful he did that so I could help Mom w/ the scrapple.

Nick was starting to lose patience w/ Autumn after a while b/c she didn’t know how to spell the words.  So, Mom & Dad stepped in and helped Autumn practice for her spelling test.  I am thankful for their help and support in so many ways every single day.

I signed Autumn up for ballet again this semester and it’s on Thursdays.  So, she wanted to put on her pink leotard and skirt and show us what she’s been learning.  What is it about a light pink leotard that makes little girls completely adorable?  She also put on her rainbow socks b/c she wanted me to swing her through my legs and then slide her across the floor.  It’s fun and she laughs non stop which makes me laugh b/c her laugh is so cute and contagious.

I love this picture b/c it just sums up our whole day…tough in her cowgirl boots yet tender in her light pink ballet clothes.  When Autumn & I were getting ready to leave Mom & Dad’s, Dad said something that was tough to hear.  He said instead of spending so much time on Project Life I should spend more time on Project Autumn.  That stung and I immediately got defensive b/c I work on Project Life after Autumn is asleep.  But, after the initial zing of it wore off, I realized he was right.  I need to be better about working w/ Autumn on letters, numbers, writing, reading, etc.  I like using the Leap Pad w/ her b/c it’s a fun game but at the same time she’s learning letters and words and spelling.

I have noticed that her strengths are in the arts and music.  She can’t carry a tune at all, but she is like me and can remember the words to songs very easily.  There will be a song on the radio and she’ll start singing along and it surprises me b/c I didn’t know she even knew that song.  So, I’ll keep praising her in all of her strengths and work w/ her on the weaker areas.  I need to be tougher on myself as a Mom and more tender w/ my Autumn Bottom.